What is actually wrong with me?

Why cant I be like normal woman? Having menses regularly, knowing where is the ovulation……all this seems to be very hard to achieve for me. Do I want all this to happen to me? how can I be more optimistic on this issue. Super hard.

I know I am pessimistic but I cant help it. I am trying not to think about it but the thoughts just always on my mind. I hate the waiting period. The period wan to come or not? I don’t know. When is it coming? I don’t know. How many days is my menses? I don’t know!!!!!!!!!!!! I wan to know what the hell is happening. I am scare of ppl telling me and advising what am I suppose to do. God, please help me.