Really stress, mental blocki

Zing Ying had started to teach me her monthly work. It's really very difficult, i cant absorb anymore. Her work really takes up alot of time. I don't have time to do my own work. I am really having mental block le. If they continue to squeeze in more things, i will forget more and more things....

Today, Michelle,one of my colleague who is also Zing Ying's aunt said something which i find it very hurting. "You're going to give birth le, why worry so much. Let Jeslyn go and worry mah". Yes, i know i cant go on maternity mah, i have to go thru budget and do her work. Both of us try to have a year end baby so that we can escape budgeting period mah and yes i am a failure, i cant make it. But she no need to say such things mah. I know that is her niece and she take care of her so i am nobody, who cares about me :'''( I stress is my own problem. Sometime thinking back, helping ppl so much really not worth it. I am just a nobody to them, you die is your own prob, no one will help you. You think about others but will they give a thought on you............

Here it comes again :(

It's just 20 days after my last mense, today it comes again.............for god's sake, can't i just have regular menses?? I have come for 3 weeks the last time, now it come again. I have already on medication, what is wrong with me. Damn sian. Totally no mood, no wonder for the past one week, i am having PMS, feel like punching people. Everything also gets on my nerve. Argh........

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Simple decision also don't know how to decide...

Buay tahan. Every single little thing also ask me how. My sis ask whether should she go over to her MIL's house or not. Please lor, such a simple thing, no need to come and bother me right. Want to go over, just go la. Don’t want to go, just don’t go la. hack care what they will say. Anyway, whatever they say, she also unhappy wad. Just now, I say I don’t have time to think for her and give her the very sian tone. I bet she is angry again. I don’t care already. My work is piling and I have to take all her stupid complaints. Never ending.

No fucking mood to work

Today totally no mood to work. Don’t know why am I so frustrated. Just feel like bashing someone up, punch something……..Sickening to see the people here. Absoutely no mood. They really think I am very good, I have to cover the most complicated work from Zing Ying. Her monthly report and OPEX budget. See how long I can survive lor. As far as I could…………………..

Always stuck with the 2 old ones

Staying together already have no choice, weekend also cannot leave us alone. We are suppose to go back my mum's place then after that go out and walk. Just now his mum ask us whether want to go his uncle's house at Khatib. Ultimate motive is to send them there and fetch them back wad. Everytime think for herself first. Every weekend also like that. I only go back my mu's place twice a month, also cannot let us have our own time. Yesterday already send the Australia relatives and Grandpa here and there liao, still not enough. Feel like selling away the car. Think got car very happy meh? Worse than a taxi driver, no income one. With this kind of arrangement all the time isn't happy at all :(

A surprise!

Dear just came back from Bangkok yesterday. He said he got a surprise present for me and ask me to find. I search all the drawers but couldn't find and finally found it in our top cabinet of our wardrobe. He bought me a Coach handbag :) He said that's my present cos we are approaching our 10th years anniversary soon. Gosh, time flies, it's going to be our 10th years together. Hope after this anniversary, a new member can be added to form a complete family :) I must stay positive. I love you dear.

How to slim down?

Jialat, why am I keep on growing heavier and heavier??????? I am now as heavy as a pregnant woman in her 8th mth pregnancy. She is jus 0.5kg heavier than me. Faint. I already eat very little, exercise abit but why cant my weight go down….Really sian, I want to slim down but how…..Sigh. I really don't know what is happening within my body

Menses never end

Today is already my 3rd week ever since i come menses. It is still not finishing yet. My god, when is it gg to end......Why i got so many prob. Really very sian. Lost alot of blood. Just wan to have regular menses also difficult.... :(