Happy or sad?

Someone is pregnant again…….. Should be happy for that person but don’t know why I feel very sad about myself. Had mixed feeling, don’t know how to describe. I wished that I can stop thinking of it but my stupid mind keep bothering on it. It’s just permanently stay in my mind. How can I make myself to forget it? Can whoever is pregnant don’t tell me…don’t know why I always get upset when ppl tell me this. Whenever I think of it, I just can’t stop crying. Everyone wan to get pregnant is so easy but to me; it’s like plucking stars from the sky. Perhaps it’s stress cos I wanted to have baby badly but am I wrong…… Oh god, I am giving up.

Chung Hwa's trip

Went Chung Hwa yesterday. Find the trip fruitless cos piss off with their service.

Reached there at 6.15, wait till 6.30 then can register. After registration, wait till 7 then the sinseh come.

He only ask those normal routine question like “can you sleep well at night”; “got go toilet everyday”; “how many days my mense” etc…..then they asked us how many months we are married. So what we’re married for 6mths. I find them very funny lor. Isn’t good to have someone willing to get pregnant. A lot of ppl don’t want children. Must be childless for more than 2 yrs then can be treated meh? Pissed off with them. Then he listens to my pulse and never says anything. After everything, gave me 8 days of supply of powder. I didn’t ask what is it for. Felt like wasting money and time to go there. Why I just want to get pregnant also difficult. Super sian.

So bored

Super long never blog already.........so sian at home. Dear went for reservist, another 4 more days to go.

Recently very vexed over my work. Director always wan this and that. So many things to update....

Then recently my colleague who took over my work keep asking me alot of things. Sometimes when i am deep thinking on my work, he sudd interrupt and ask me things. Yes, i understand he's stress as he took over my work. I am not stress meh? But as a TO3, he needs to analyze situation and try to do it first instead of conviently ask me what should he do. He simply forward the email to me and ask me that. I have explained to him before and not only one time but did he remember it into his brain... Oh gosh. I am like doing his work. I myself got plenty of invoices haven't clear.

Today i have no choice but to tell my ex boss about it. He say why i didnt tell him earlier on. At least he can save the situation. Now the record keeping is a mess, i myself also don't know how to help him. Today my ex boss keep calling to ask on the record, he himself also don't know how to read. I explain to him then he put down the phone, subsequently call me to ask again. He say to me "sorry sorry". I was like going to laugh. My ex boss saying sorry to me leh. Now looking back, he's not that bad afterall, at least he knew his work and don't come and pester me for info all the time. Unlike my current dept, the manager depend very much on JO. Different place, different culture. Sigh.

Going to sleep le, tomorrow is another challenging day