Never pin high hope

I come menses already :(

I thought i can get pregnant this time round. Who knows, it's a false alarm. I dont know why am i getting all the pain. Now my lower back still got slight pain. If i stand too long, it comes again. Very disappointed.

Today i reported to my new dept. Nobody is free to teach me anything. My new boss ask me to look at the spreadsheet and try to understand myself first. Everything looks german to me. Cham, i shall wait till monday and see who can explain to me

Pain Pain go away

It started from Thurs morning, when i wake up, i sudd feel my lower back pain and abdominal pain. I thought it was like normal back aching as i went gym the day before. But who knows when i am walking to office, the pain start to get more and more, i was like breaking cold sweat, nearly want to ask my colleague to come down and help me. I walked extremely slow and finally reached office. I immediately call my company to book appt. The stupid male doc know nothing and thought was muscle strain, he gave me painkiller and gastric pain medicine.

I didnt take his medicine and after i got my MC, i asked my sis to call the chinese sinseh for me. Cos all my colleagues asked me to go dui na, see whether can help or not. But when i go there, i did tell the sinseh that i am trying to conceive. Knowing that, she dont dare to anyhow dui na for me and asked me to have a pregnancy test. It was negative. End up, i did nothing there and spent $34 plus $6 cab fare back home. Dunz

When i get home, i can only lie down. Once i sit up, it's extremely painful cos i was pressing onto it.

Yesterday i made appt to see the gynae cos the abdominal pain and lower pain is still there. I wan her to do an ultrasound to see what's going on inside my body. She cant detect anything.... The worst thing is i spent another $200plus there. Really sickening, this mth spent so much and get no result.

Today is still painful but not as bad as last 2 days. I really hope that the pain can go off faster. I cannot afford not to work. I still have a lot of work to clear.

Mense hasnt report too. Today is the 37th day. I also hope that i can have good news this time round. Hope the pain i encounter is not for nothing

Grandma's update

Yesterday went to see grandma. She is better already, glad to see that. She can hold my hand and talk to me. Really relieved to see that. I talked to the nurse and she informed me that the blood test was good and everything was normal. If today continue to be normal, she can be transfer to normal ward soon.

This week is busy with errands. My dear hubby wanted me to go and renew his road tax and insurance then need to pick up his handphone at Nokia care center. These two days cannot go down to visit grandma le. Hope she can be discharge soon, can see that she’s very sian in hospital.

Heart pain

Today went hospital to visit grandma again. Oh my god, she’s still using the oxygen mask for breathing. Seeing so many needles poking her, see le really heart pain. She cant talk to us. I can see that she want to talk to us but she cant. And we’re helpless, cant do anything but looking at her sleeping. Hope she can recover soon. I really hope that everyone can be in good health. Seriously, nothing can better than having good health. Please bless my grandma to recover soon.

My poor mum

I jus called my mum to tell her that i am gg back for dinner on Tues. She told me about my grandma told her off on fri and like gg to cry like that. I hear liao also feel like sad for her. Sometimes i think it's abit unreasonable of my grandma. My mum need to wash clothes and do housework in the morning. We're not staying nearby. She need to take train to toa payoh to change bus to her house. All this need time one mah, can't be taking rocket right? Yes, we all know that she need help from ppl to cook but not early in the morning before dawn right? I side whoever is right. I think my poor mum always get scolded for nothing. Feel so sad for my mum, her own mum is not understanding of her situation :(

I really buay tahan le

I really buay tahan my lady colleagues. Everyday criticize the things I eat. Everyday saying that I am fat le. So what! What good does it do to them that they have to say me all the time. 3 of them against me and always say so loudly infront of the guys colleague. I am really pissed off. I knew that I am fat. I already go gym everyday. I am not sitting down and do nothing. Must they keep saying me? I really feel like shouting back.

Has one think of another person’s feeling before she says something?

I have this colleague who is very straight forward. She speaks whatever she likes. I wonder does she ever think of ppl’s feeling. Just now all of them are talking abt me getting fatter. Yes, I knew it myself. She no need to spell so loud to everyone. And I have made the effort to go gym everyday. The prob is the breakfast and dinner that I have taken. I already told my mother in law to cook lesser rice but she still cook the same, what can I do. The way my colleague teaches me to go and tell my MIL is abit rude. I can’t bring myself to say that to my MIL. My parent in law already very good, prepare breakfast for us, cut fruits for us to bring to office and then cook dinner. I myself don’t know how to cook, got food to eat, I already thank god, still want to complain meh…. I think I will get strike by lightning if I complain straight to my MIL. But she really cooks too much rice. The amount I am eating now is twice what I ate last time. Everyday I feel super full after dinner, very hard to digest. I think that’s the reason why I am growing fatter. Sigh, how to tell her not to cook so much…and the breakfast, how to tell them don’t always buy cakes and kueys… these are the foods who make us fat.. :(